I come back with my last education piece for 2009-2010 school year. This time of year is the slowest for teachers and students, but it is not without its benefits. At the elementary ranks we have a long-standing tradition of field days. Well, that would explain my absence last week of any entries to the Hurricane. I was part track official and bus driver last week for our field days. I'm glad field days are around because they are the last of what we might remember from our school days.
Our outgoing principal sent down an edict that we should not threaten students with having their field day privaledges withdrawn because it would hurt their self-esteem. Field day should be for everyone. We even had a student come back from alternative school to compete. In one fail swoop I saw one of the major wrongs with education and society. I had a similar discussion with my wife. Somewhere along the way, we have confused showing and giving love with pumping up self-esteem. Self-esteem is something the individual earns through achievement. Love is something that should always be present between a parent and child. Even love in the non-parental/physical sense should be there in the school setting. Love means you want what is best for the child. Love means you don't want anyone to get hurt.
When you remove disincentive you damage a child in two ways. First, they don't feel the reward when they avoid the disincentive. If every child goes to field day then it isn't something I have earned through my good behavior. Of course, the flip side is also true. If I go in spite of bad behavior then there isn't a consequence for my bad behavior. My principal uttered that some of these kids would never be able to participate in anything. My response? Yup.
We are seeing this at the older ages particularly when kids go to college. College professors are becoming more and more frustrated not only at students inability to do certain things, but their inability to accept criticism. "All of our teachers kept telling us how great they were." When students made grammatical errors, I was told not to count off for each mistake. They got a holistic grade that encompassed their organization, ability to write, and most importantly, their creativity. Creativity is nice, but professors and supervisors don't care about that. They care about proficiency.
Make no mistake, I am not a perfect writer. People see one or two typos in these entries all the time. The point is that this bothers me. So, I strive to do better. I think I have in general and that is the whole point. We do not improve without criticism. We do not learn to live within the limits until we test the limits and get burnt. All of us remember one or two (maybe more) times when we got in trouble in school and got blistered for it. It just isn't happening now. We're too worried about their self-esteem.
Thankfully, during field day we still give out blue, red, and yellow ribbons. I even won two red ones when the teachers didn't want to run. I may feel bad about not getting a blue one, but then again, I should have run faster. I remember when we used to do Oregon Trail, bike olympics, and many other events. Those have been sacrificed to the gods of TAKS and Self-Esteem. Some kids can't ride bikes. In Oregon Trail, some people won't make it. I remember, I was killed off pretty early on because my character was an old man. No one was worried about my self-esteem. In life there is victory and defeat. How we deal with defeat says as much if not more than how we deal with victory. If we love our children then we will let them know when they have made a mistake. Of course, we will love them anyway, but we shouldn't praise them for waking up in the morning.
I was a golfer in high school. I was always satisfied more when I played well and lost then when I won playing poorly. In psychology we call this intrinsic motivation. Most kids don't have that now except in things that interest them. Make all As and I want my donut in the morning or trip to CiCis. I still remember the first time I made all As. I took the report card and ran to my mother (who worked at the school). I was excited because I earned it. There is an excitement from earning something that is not happening frequently enough for our kids. This is what fosters self-esteem. The key is not to give away tokens for lukewarm achievement but to help kids find that which truly motivates them. This is why I am so for alternative curriculum programs. If a student gets excited fixing a car or rewiring an electrical panel then why keep forcing them through traditional courses with fancy extrinsic motivators? You are killing their spirit that way.
I was a chess player in my younger days and I guess I can identify with the satisfaction of a hard earned victory, but honestly, I'd rather have smashed the sh*t out of 'em.
Playboy photographer, of course. It just boggled my mind that anybody actually could have that job...man.
When I was in high school I had a gal friend whose father happened to be an English professor at the local university. When she wrote an interpretative paper it lacked all punctuation and more importantly it lacked sanity (she was later institutionalized). On the other hand, the papers I wrote were really lacking in anything other than decent interpretation. We got the same grades for the most part but I gotta say, I never understood what the hell she was writing about (She nicknamed me chuckie wuckie demon of the underworld...I was so flattered) BUT she was creative. So, I would guess that creativity REALLY is important.
Part of it is just changing of the times. My wife told me that when she was a baby, her father drove her all the way to her mother's workplace so she would change the diaper. I'm okay with attendance awards for the year because if other kids see that they may strive for it. The problem with elementary attendance is that it is on the parents. One parent was told that if the child was there until 9:30 then she was counted present all day. So, she proceeded to take her out everyday after 9:30.
The question is whether you motivate bad kids by rewarding good kids or if you simply punish the bad ones. I'm more of a hard ass on this then most colleagues. Still, a simple atta boy for a kid doing something right is necessary every now and then. Rewards should be given but they should be proportional to the good done.
Awards for doing what they're supposed to do. Sad, isn't it?
As my son said, it's akin to father who wants some extra recognition for paying his legal child support, or for a new dad who changes diapers and wants extra praise. Extra pats on the back for doing what you're supposed to do? What's up with that?
Whatever happened to just doing the right thing because it's the right thing to do?
ROFLMAO!
At elementary schools around here, they're giving awards for perfect attendance and awards for being on time every day for the whole quarter. What the hell do they think they're teaching the kids by giving them an award just for showing when they're supposed to, and for showing up on time?
I'm all in favor of helping kids reach their greatest potential. But, like wombat said, falling on one's ass is often more instructive than winning or otherwise meeting goals (though both are necessary). And being coddled sets one back, rather than anything else.
Hey, everybody needs goals in life. That's mine.
*sigh*
Now WHY does that NOT surprise me????
Des, you are incorrigible!!! ;-)
When will people learn that true self-esteem is achieved by....actually achieving something? You can't have it GIVEN to you. All these kids playing sports and everyone gets a trophy. All the kids in elementary school and everyone gets a certificate on the final day.
"Congratulations to ********* for outstanding nose picking."
Then the kids manage to (barely) graduate, go to college and discover they are woefully unprepared and really not the brightest bulb in the chandelier and all hell breaks loose. This has driven me crazy for twenty years. First of all....not all students are college material. We all know this. Where are the damn technical/vocational schools that can teach them good, valuable employment skills? Non-existent.
I heard about a book the other day that I mean to find and read, something about The Laidback Parent. As an antidote for today's helicopter parenting styles. Let the kids fall on their asses once in a while. They will learn to pick themselves up, learn from their mistakes, and maybe become competent and capable.
Photographer for the SI Swimsuit Issue.
We didn't give participation ribbons this year. I think there is a middle ground on this. I think telling a kid good try is good enough. As for me, I want to be the mop up guy in the bullpen. I'll take league minimum, the same per diem as everyone else, food in the clubhouse, and I only pitch in case of a blow out.
Wombat wrote: ....If that were so, i'd be an underwear model/brain surgeon.
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I wanted to be a professional baseball player/strip club owner.
How 'bout the rest of you???
OK. HOw many of you "out there" think giving everybody a "participant award" is a good idea?????
HOw many think, as Wombat says, that all the finishers below third place should get a whack on their big toe by a rubber hammer??? :-)
(see Scott, I'm helping)
Ditto
Scott, I agree with you, "We're too worried about their self-esteem." Public school teachers have too many students to spend much time on this; it should primarily be a parent's responsibility. Everyone will fail at something sooner or later; some of us many times. That's life and you learn from a failure.
There's nothing wrong with participant ribbons though. My two boys appreciated those along with the winner ribbons. Even the guys who sit on the bench of winning pro basketball teams get a ring.
failure is more instructive than success...and if we don't allow children to fail and learn the consequences of it, we wind up with legions of spoiled adult babies that never learned to handle adversity.
Self -esteem is like wisdom...you have to find it yourself or it has no value for you. Sort of like everyone getting a ribbon for participating and no one getting a ribbon for winning.
Our society has some kind of hang-up over losing...as if it denotes some personal lack. When i competed in debate, i lost a lot(especially my first year). But i would rather lose a tough debate than wipe the floor with somebody and win. Those wins taught me nothing...the tough losses taught me everything. All people are born with equal rights, but are NOT created equal. If that were so, i'd be an underwear model/brain surgeon. To lower the standards in an effort to spare a kid's feelings seems to me to be the very epitome of stupidity.
after all, life isn't all happy rainbow sunshine time....it's got it's inevitable low points. It seems to me we're trying to shield children from somethign that's GOING to happen to them eventually, and as a result leaving them unprepared.
someone who doesn't know how to lose feels entitled to victory, and tends to blame others for their own failings with ever-increasing venom and childish anger. They can never take responsiblity for their actions because they never learned how to do anything but make excuses....now who does that sound like in our society to you?
We didn't do any of the "field day" things to which you refer. If I may, the onl persons who get "pumped up" are the ones who win. If I may be the devils advocate, in a race of 8 individuals, like a swim meet or a track event, you have ONE winner and 7 losers. You can give out "partipant" ribbons or trophies to everybody. I'm not sure EXACTLY what good that does.
When I had my own company and ran productivity "inventives" I arranged it so everybody won, just some won more than others.
I'm gonna be honest, the LESS competition like this you have in schools, the LESS disappointment you have.
Scott, that ought to stir up the natives.
(Tough competition today with the oil spill and Palin. But you know I always do what I can to get you over that "10 comment" plateau.)