This story has absolutely nothing to do with politics, and my apologies in advance to anyone who finds it offensive, but it reminded me of 2 classic lines from 2 of my favorite comedians.
"Some ego?" Ya think? Now the 2 comedians and their lines:
Robin Williams in Good Morning Vietnam: "They only need 3 sizes--large, medium, and Caucasian."
The late, great Rodney Dangerfield, when he asked about the different sizes and styles, (in a line to which I can relate) the pharmacist replied: "What difference does it make, with a face like that you'll never use 'em." No respect at all.
"The places where most people buy condoms -- Wal-Mart and drug stores -- are motivated by a business model that needs to maximize shelf space, so they offer few varieties. To complicate things further, there is no standard sizing for condoms..."a lot of people don't know that condoms really do come in sizes," said Sarah Alleyne, HIV prevention specialist with the Lexington-Fayette County Health Department...And, she said, "there is probably some ego involved with it when people are buying condoms. Everybody wants to be a large."
"Some ego?" Ya think? Now the 2 comedians and their lines:
Robin Williams in Good Morning Vietnam: "They only need 3 sizes--large, medium, and Caucasian."
The late, great Rodney Dangerfield, when he asked about the different sizes and styles, (in a line to which I can relate) the pharmacist replied: "What difference does it make, with a face like that you'll never use 'em." No respect at all.
I have a friend who is a regional security type for Walmart and is part of the team when they do inventories determining lossage (shop lifting). He told me some years ago that if he looks at condom sales the best seller is large and when he looks a lossage the winnner is small.
In WW II, Korea and Viet Nam soldier used to use condoms as a cover for their rifle to keep the barrel dry. I suppose they used large for an M1 or whatever they carried.
ROFLMAO!
I really need to learn to not read these when I have a Diet Coke in my hand.
*sigh*
I still remember the very first time I saw the shop in Dallas with the sign in front: "Condoms To Go".
I told my son, "I certain hope so! Do they expect people to use them THERE"?
I just thought of the name they could have given the store, but politeness and my good upbringing forbids me to mention it here.....I'll give y'all leave to just use your imaginations!
Carguy, spot on -- KBH didn't have a clue!
Was Geraldo the guy trying to buy that 'super-sized' condom?
Don't EVER underestimate the power of "good hair".
ON the "chromosomal reverse" side...The Donald, Geraldo Rivera, practically any OTHER republican U.S. Senator too, Bill Parcells, Wesley Snipes...just too many to mention.
You gotta give Perry credit where credit is due. He took her out and that gun-totin' precinct chair-person like he was shootin' fish in a barrell.
My intranet is down. I can't wait until tomorrow.
(Watch how I do this)
Sizes DON'T matter when it comes to egos. Leastwise, not in politics. The winner of the "Incredibly Presumptious Award" for 2010-11 is Kay Bailey Hutchison. Our U.S. senator thought she was SO popular that, even though the GOP had a fairly "party popular" person occupying the "rented" governor's mansion in Austin that she could merely walk in, announce she was bored being a United States Senator, and she would automatically be given the keys to said rental property by the party anad later, the entire state as a reward for her 16 years service. I think she actually EXPECTED Perry to step aside when she "declared" her candidacy.
WHAT AN EGO. I dont't think I can even fathom an ego bigger than hers. Well, except maybe Sheila Jackson Lee. And Nancy Pelosi, of course. Oh, Barbara Walters, and natch..Katey Couric. Martha Stewart, for sure. Paris Hilton, let's not forget her. That CRAZY Bachman woman in Minnesota, her too.
You know what. That ego thing seems to be pretty common now that I think of it.
Des: PLease, can we rag on KBH's humiliating defeat tomorrow. And people claim Perry never did anything worthwhile. Maybe not before now.
Carguy has found his nirvana...
Oh, I do wish the wombat was on the internet during the day so he could tell his story about using condoms to lob eggs at people...
Guy goes into a drugstore. “I need to buy a condom.”
Clerk says, “We don’t sell them individually, just in packs of 3, 12 etc.”
“OK, give me a 3 pack of large” he responds. “Do you have someplace I can try this on?”
“You want to try them on?” the clerk asks. “OK, restrooms over there.”
Next thing the clerks hears, “UMM, UGH, URRRRRRGHHHH , KAPOW!!!!!
Guy comes out, “You got anything larger?”
“I got magnum" he replies.
“Let me try a 3 pack of those” he requests. Off to the bathroom again.
“UMM, UGH, URRRRRRGHHHHHH, KAPOW!!!!!!!
“That won’t do” the man says. “Got anything larger?”
Surprised the clerk responds, “I have super magnum. But actually, only sold these once in 25 years. Here ya go On the house this time.”
Off to the bathroom, AGAIN. “UMM, UGH, URGGGGGGHHHHH, OOOOEEEEEE, KAPOW!!!!!!!!
Guy comes out of the bathroom. “Thanks anyway” he says to the clerk.
The clerk, positively beside himself says,”I suppose I ought to give you a refund on the first two you bought. I feel really bad about that.”
“Oh don’t. Not your fault. I was trying out an idea. I was invited to a Halloween costume party and I wanted to go as a dick.”
Des - why do you say this post is not political? ya'll all heard the old line about politicians and condoms being alike...-- they both give a false sense of security while you're getting screwed....
Might want to go here for a few laughs:
http://www.thejokeyard.com/dirty_sex_jokes/condom_slogans.html
OK, you've opened the flood gates now.
Guy goes into a drug store to bu some condoms.
"Dozen Trojans", the clerk says. "That'll be $4.50 plus tax."
Guy responds, "I don't need any tacks. They usually just stay on by themselves."
-----
Guy is taking his new friend around the neighbodhood for the first time.
"This is the street where everybody goes to 'park' on weekends. We call it Firestone Drive."
"But the street sign say "Evergreen." his friend replies. "Why Firestone?"
Guy answers, "Because this is where 'the rubber meets the road'."
My mother worked in a drug store when she and my father divorced. She found an opened box of condoms that had a few missing. They were "Magnum XL". She said, "Not only is he a thief, he's a liar, too."
Des -You naturally knew that I would come up with a condom story (music business related!) Anyway, the secretaries at Fiesta Texas in San Antonio a few years ago were wondering about the cases of condoms going to the sound technicians' office, and it took them quite some time and a great deal of speculation to find out the truth... Turns out the big Mexican dancing and singing troupe were shorting out their wireless microphones with sweat, so my friend who was in charge of the events at Fiesta Texas at the time ordered those cases to pack the wireless modules in! - Sweat problem solved, but he said not before he had a load of transfer forms come at him from the secretaries at the front desk!
that's funny,
I had a 'friend' at one time that didn't seem to hold me in very high esteem. She bought a condom (or maybe she just carried them) that was absolutely excruciating...heh, heh. She did apologize and it was that turning point in my life that eventually culminated in a vow of celibacy.