I realize I often times come off as sounding uncaring. Maybe it is a bit of the old-school in terms of education coming out. You can't help but listen to dinner conversation about work growing up without being affected. So, sometimes I come off as callous and maybe even a bit conservative. It's funny, I catch it from both ends. That's life in the middle I guess. However, today I wanted to talk about something that I do care deeply about and that is mental health.
My leanings towards mental health go back to my background as a counselor. Then again, that goes back to my own battles with mental illness. At several points in my life, I have wrestled with the beast that is clinical depression. There are literally dozens of strands of depression ranging from dysthmia (the one I have) to major depression. Depression is under the family of "mood disorders" which also includes bipolar disorder. I suppose the interest in my own situation inspired me to become a counselor so I could help others in similar situations.
As psychological disorders go, depression is fairly tame. When we get into psychotic disorders we really get into the major stuff. This is where our political situation comes into play. Anyone that travels downtown knows that we have a significant homeless population and most of them are mentally ill. My wife once sat next to a man that had an argument with a hallucinated friend waiting for a bus. Fortunately, he was not violent, but in his current state he was unemployable. Furthermore, he was alone.
Going through my own battles was difficult enough and I had family, friends, and insurance to back me up. Many of our fellow Texans are suffering through this indignity alone and without help. Texas is 50th out of 50 states in what it spends per capita on mental health for its citizens. I once toured a facility in League City called Devereaux. Devereaux became infamous when it released Andrea Yates shortly before she killed her children. Yet, their hands are tied too. They have a wonderful program for children going through mental illness. They provide education, counseling, medication (if needed), and a regimented program that allows them to get well. None of the children in the program were from Texas when I went there. Why? Texas children can't afford the care.
So, the next time you hear Rick Perry prattle on about balanced budgets and tax cuts to business remember that story. Children in this state can't attend a facility in this state because their governor and state legislature doesn't care about them. Those people generally don't care about the general health of children in the state, and mental health falls below that one.
I hate to get religious in a time like this, but Jesus once said, "Whatever you do unto the least of my people you do unto me." I think it is time for many in the conservative branch to take a long look in the mirror. Of course, the same goes for all of us from time to time.
Carguy, I think I am the Groundskeeper at times. Not full time, just part time. But still.....
yeah, I get curiosity? The dust is pretty cool, but I got plenty of that living in New Mexico.
Tech's medical school is the Texas Tech Health Sciences Center...at least, I think...I was an engineering grad student there and that was about it. I actually worked for a medical researcher at the center for a short while...very short while. I had been warned by the grad department to not try to work for this guy because he was notoriously difficult. I lasted 3 days.
I know how tragic it can be. I am living with the results every single day.
Never lived in Lubbock. Fortunately, I'm blessed with curiosity so my visits there are interesting.
Of course, I'd heard of Tech. But I didn't know they had a big medical center there. And the doc I see has patients who fly in from Belgium to see him.
What if that visit provided their only view of Texas? Oh, the stories they tell. . . .
I personally love how he doesn't have a high school diploma, but told Matt Lauer that he was ignorant on any subject. Maybe I'm just old-fashioned, but I think anyone without a degree or personal experience should shut up and listen to those with either (or both).
I've never heard anything positive about Tom Cruise but I like his movies...
"Do away with redundancy forever!"
Comedienne Rita Rudner had a good line....."Neurotics build castles in the sky. Psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them."
And no discussion on this "expanded" topic would be complete without..."Killing yourself in Lubbock is redundant."
Seems like MANY of us have experience on this topic. Thanks Scott for bringing it up. Jokes aside, I AM 10 years good on anti-depressants and feel about 96% now. (Think how funny I would be if i were 100) SSRI's saved my dad's life and gave him "back to us" for 5 years before a stroke took him.
Offshore: you and I seem to have a lot in common. If I ever ran into Tom Cruise, I'd put a banana in HIS tailpipe too.
Lubbock......that's funny! I can see how ALL the tests they run in Lubbock come out "low normal" :-)
yeah, that's really tough...
Yours is a sad and all too common story.
Mental illness is very difficult for everyone. My mother started acting odd around her 40th birthday. It got worse and worse. My father kept taking her to doctors, even a pyschologist (who believed my mother and thought my dad was nuts). He took her for tests. He tried everything for years, then it got so bad he was fearing for his life (she was hiding knives and threatening him), so he had her committed. His insurance wouldn't cover any more so he divorced her so she could go on medicaid. I think he had also had enough, but that is just my guess. They kept her for a month or so and put her on drugs. She couldn't go back home, she still believed my father wasn't my father, that is was some other man. She moved in with me. The hospital didn't give me enough information to get her the help she needed. We tried putting her on disability, denied. Finally my brother got involved and got her all the government assistance she needed, we were all running out of money. Its been more than 20 years now, she has been into a few other hospitals, but I think now her magic formula is working.
My point is, this is hard enough for families without money being a factor.
I'm now 50 and my kids have been watching me for years to make sure I didn't go nuts. I think we all finally feel safe for me.
Great piece, Scott. A for meds, I know all to well that they are hit and miss, and that any one particular medication won't continue working forever. They frequently must be changed.
Carguy, you're right. There are a lot of people who don't believe that any of these conditions are truly disorders. Tom Cruise is one of those nimrods and that's why I'll never spend another dollar to see any of his movies.
If you ever lived in Lubbock I understand why you were depressed.
yeah, I agree with all of that...
About 15 years ago I saw a poster about National Depression Month or something like that. It hit me after a lifetime of feeling 'out of it'. I went to a shrink and was diagnosed. The psychiatrist suggested that my depression had begun as early as 4th or 5th grade. I had no reason to disagree because it was about then that my life such as it is for a kid that age had started going to hell.
My adoptive mother died when I was about 5, my adopted sister was 7, an older adopted brother was 10, and my younger half-brother was about 1. It tore our family apart, really it seemed after she died that we had virtually no support system at all. I always felt cast adrift with no port to find shelter. After about 20 years of serious unhappiness I found the happy pills. Life has been immeasurably better since. In truth, my life is still pretty f*cked up, but I'm enjoying it anyway. My daughter is a source of unbridled joy for me, albeit, with the occasional bumps in the road... :O)
In 2006 I began seeing a doc in Lubbock, of all places. My health has improved greatly. It's not perfect, but I definitely don't have the depression that dogged me for most of my years.
good health to you,
bobo
The psychiatrist said my dysthymia is somewhat normal for men at certain stages. It happens in the teenage years, mid twenties (when I was first diagnosed) and other times when hormonal changes occur. The same occurs in women but at different times obviously. I don't know how much I buy that since it feels like I was depressed throughout most of my childhood.
Now, it seems environmental (my job really sucks) but then again it could be biological. It seems like my job always sucks. As for treatment, I have found that light is the best disinfectant. When you hear of tragedies you often hear how no one around that person suspected anything. That is because we have been programmed to keep those things to ourselves. When we are free to talk about it, it is easier to face.
Scott,
Thank you for this.
I suffered from post-partum depression after the birth of my second child. I wasn't sad, I was emotionless and withdrawn. I didn't look anyone in the eye, I couldn't make a phone call, and I felt -nothing-. I stopped leaving the house.
Now that we're expecting our third, I'm on the lookout for the symptoms and better equipped to get through, if need be. If not for insurance, who knows what would have happened?
Actually, the test was ordered by a psychiatrist and conducted by a medical school staff (Texas Tech). The questions you asked are good ones and I sure can't answer them. I'll have to take some time to put them in perspective.
AH,
I don't have all the answers, but I have a lot of questions and you should, too.
1 - Were the tests Free T3 and Free T4 or Total T3 and Total T4? Big difference.
The Totals include any stray molecule that the T3 molecule, for example, may be attached to. Yes, it's there, in your blood stream, but because it's attached to another molecule, your body can not use it.
Currently, only the Frees provide the best insight into the how much of the biologically active hormone is available in your blood stream.
2 - Who said your results were "normal"? Did you see the test results yourself? Because the word "normal" is not on any test result.
Having test results that fall within the reference range is not "normal." It just means that your results fell within the reference range at the time your blood was drawn. TSH, for example, may vary by 2 full points throughout the day.
There are thousands of people, healthy people, who fall outside the reference range. The range doesn't not capture 100% of all possible results, even though doctors may think so.
AND, I know people whose doctor said on the phone that their test results were out of range but their doctors still reported them as "normal." When they picked up the test results themselves, they saw the out-of-range results. You should always get your own copy of lab test results.
My life was hijacked by a doctor who repeatedly told me that my tests were low, but "low normal," another designation that doesn't appear anywhere in any medical text. Doctor's are not immune to old doc's tales. Unfortunately, I didn't know that at the time.
3 - And have your test results migrated within the reference range over time? Did you feel better when they were at one place in the reference range than another? It's the kind of thing we should all know. Maybe you just need to have test results at a different place in the reference range in order to feel better.
Given my experiences, I honestly believe we should always get copies of all lab test results. We should keep them in a safe place like we do wills and titles and documents for the IRS.
Once a year we should regularly review them for changes and compare those changes to our health, how we feel. It's not for nothing that the thyroid hormone is referred to as a master hormone, used by every cell in the body.
Scott,
I'm curious what was given to you as the 'reason' for your dysthymia. As for me, I'm classic in terms of what the book says. As a student I was in a state program but got booted because only clinical depression is covered. Therapy sucks...it's embarassing and totally useless. Just give me the drugs. The weight thing is funny, I don't see it as causing depression but when you gain 40-50 lbs who gives a damn about how GOOD you're feeling. I had the tests that Bobo suggested...all normal. Though, my parathyroid hormone levels seem to go up and down.
Anybody, ever consider alien abduction?
p.s. By most accounts I'm not currently psychotic. The reason, with tongue-in-cheek, I threw that out there is because the artistic, musical, and writer types are supposedly favorite targets? And they tend to find each other. This is kind of off the point but the guy that crashed his plane into the guvment building? I swear I've seen that guy many times. He looks like somebody I know but, of course, I don't know who the person is that I know that looks like him.
ok. I AM crazy!
Good blog, Scott.
Carguy, you totally crack me up. Each one of me, that is. At times I think I am channeling Bridey Murphy. If you don't remember her, Google it.
Depression is an illness that many of us - or our loved ones - have gone through.
It is one not to be taken lightly (Carguy aside - that was funny), but the majority of people don't realize how tragic it can truly be. Only those that have experienced it first hand know.
Excellent blog, Scott.
try a little thorazine (sung to the tune of "Try a little tenderness!")
Just a little humor.:-)
That damn depression medicine makes me sweat.
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Oh it's not that bad. YOU complain about everything.
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Did you realize you are replying to your OWN post???
I'm a BIG believer in "Better living through CHEMISTRY!"
SSRI's have worked for me. Really. I'm not kidding. 10 year and counting. It even has my multiple personality disorder under control.
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NO it doesn't.
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YES it does.
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Quit it. The two of you are always arguing about something
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Well HE started it.
Get these tests run: Free T3, Free T4 and TSH. Accept no substitutes.
This tip is brought to you by a former life-time functional depressive.
There are lots of non-medicated solutions. I have gone both routes. One medication did a better job of dealing with it than the other. However, I gained 50 pounds in the process (I have since lost 30 of it). That of course caused depression. Exercise seems to work well as well as writing for me. Therapy is also a good way to go, but it is an ongoing concern. It never really goes away.
Depression is as punishing to an individual as most any physical problem. Its difficult to diagnose and can be extremely difficult to treat. Witness one of commercials for an anti depression medicine. One of the side effects is deeper depression and possible suicidal thoughts. Even in one of my darker days, would I take something like that, Hell no. But, what is a solution ?
Our society has a BIG stigma when it comes to mental illness. I know a LOT of people who don't believe it is a legitimate disorder. Many health insurers don't cover it. Lucky are those who can self diagnose and get the proper treatment, recover, and have full lives.
It's funny. We check kids "EYES" in school but we DON'T CHECK ANYTHING ELSE. If we could remove that "stigma" we might be able to spot a lot of problems before they became "crisis".